Travel Channel...

I freakin' miss you :[





and even.....



Even you, Adam Richman.

To the Gecko invading my kitchen:

I don't want your fucking car insurance, you prick.



Nor do I want your scaly, creepy ass lurkin' where I make my food. GTFO ALREADY OR START PAYING RENT.

FLORIDA + LIZARDS.

DEAR EVERY PERSON ON THE ROAD BETWEEN 7:30 AND 9:46 THIS MORNING: I REALLY HOPE YOU SPILL A WARM DRINK ON YOURSELF AND YOUR DAY IS RUINED. REALLY. BECAUSE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND SPEED LIMITS OR PASSING LANES.

ALSO. LIZARDS. JUST BECAUSE I OPENED THE DOOR AND YOU HAPPENED TO BE HIDING AROUND THE CORNER DOESN'T MEAN I INVITED YOU INTO MY APARTMENT YOU INCONSIDERATE SHIT. I HOPE YOU DIE A HORRIBLE SLOW DEATH BEHIND MY REFRIGERATOR BECAUSE YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID AND RUDE AND ALSO YOU SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME AND YOU'RE PROBABLY POISONOUS (I SAY THIS BECAUSE I DON'T TRUST ANY ANIMAL THAT HAS A ZEBRA LOOKING TAIL AND IS BRIGHT FUCKING ORANGE). FLAMBOYANT MOTHERFUCKER.



PIC RELATED, ITS MY FACE RIGHT NOW.

Sara Quin

Zensusl gives your bowl cut a big thumbs-up.

Hmm...

I'm skeptical.

Getting up early...

NEVER EVER LOOKS LIKE THIS SO STOP LYING OKAY?!



This is clearly a better way to start the day like a pro. You're welcome for the tip everyone.

Dear Ikea,

Please make your glassware stronger so Phoebe can continue throwing it off tables.



***THIS IS NOT MY MESSY APARTMENT, ^^^. They should be ashamed. But that means it's also not my cute ferret.
I should be ashamed.